I empathise. Unfortunately my already limiting chronic illness got worse last year and now I’m mostly housebound and the garden is living its own life (which wouldn’t be a bad thing if it wasn’t for the rampant - no matter how much I cut them down before - brambles, plum tree saplings and an over-indulgence of nettles, sigh). The last few months I have had really dark spells as my life is shrinking further with no improvement. To the point the other week where I thought I need, it is essential, that I hold energy for the things that stop me going there. So I’ve finally started writing again after about a year and I’ve finally started on a textile art project I’ve had in mind since October. I am trying to find ways to do them in little doses and finding my way back into communities that I know will help keep me holding energy for these things. I am reassuring myself that this is not self-indulgence, this is self-preservation.
Lovely poems, and your painting too… (and I’m much enjoying reading Riding the Dragon as we speak!). An enforced and healing break (literally, sometimes…)
can often be no bad thing, even when the timing isn’t quite impeccable… Get well soon!
Ah Mari thank you for such a lovely comment - and delighted you are reading RTD! I might write it a little differently now as I was only in my 30s when it was published, but I still stand behind the content.
And you're right – I can't say I enjoy the immobility and pain per se but I'm learning stuff every day!
Oh Roselle… of all the moments in the year to be injured… although is there ever good moment really? The older I become the more deeply I believe these things happen for a reason. I have just had a long and tearful discussion with my husband (because I can’t sleep, and tomorrow I have classes) about slowing down, about listening to our bodies, really listening and acting upon what they are telling us… I too have to slow down, I am suffering both emotionally and physically, my lists are long and simply impossible to fulfill - I know this but it doesn’t stop me and it’s killing me. It’s time to listen… it’s time to write more poetry 💛
I send you peace and healing and stillness… and I will try for the same xx
Deal, Susie. Yes please try for the same – without a physical accident! I have seen from your writings how over-busy you must be; we are similar I think in cramming every moment full. Passion for life, perhaps.
I'm in the habit of listening to my body, reading what it's saying, and then ignoring it! – as I don't know what to change. As a psychotherapist myself, I'd say to a client 'Why are you filling your life so full?' and 'What could you change right now?' As a person, I'd say what a shame I had to choose such a drastic way to slow myself down (not the first time), when I've known for *years* that, no matter how much I love life and love the things I'm engaged in, I absolutely MUST carve out time just for being... Sound familiar? Please do it for yourself before something gives, Susie. Let's stay in touch?
Dear Roselle, I read your reply, was immediately called to do something and have only just found time to reply... my apologies but yes, lets... I believe we both desperately need to encourage one another to slow down as often as possible. So far this week it hasn't happened for me, but tomorrow is the last day of term and I have two weeks off, two weeks of rain so my metéo says, which means almost everything on my list will be impossible anyway... it feels like a good time to begin!
I am sending calm hugs to you and the hope that you are healing quickly.. xx
You're right, Verona, and though I still feel frustrated by my immobility and the awkwardness and complications it brings - and I'm still rubbish on crutches! - I'm beginning to soften into the space. Thank you!
Heal well! There are Marustani cotton umbrellas, quite expensive, on the terrible place beginning with A. I can't find them stocked anywhere else so far.
Your poetry is beautiful, as always, and I appreciate your insights into life. I hope your foot heals up quickly and well, and you enjoy your "enforced" rest time.
I can hear you read 2 from River Suite. Enforced rest can be beneficial. 2 years ago I watched Magpies - just a pair- build a nest in the oak at the bottom of our neighbour’s garden. I was a weeny bit more resentful than you but writing flourished. I hope you continue to write wonderful poems. Xx
Marg I just left a reply but can't see it. Hope I didn't leave it on someone else's blog! I said thank you - and believe me I have been VERY resentful! xx
Wishing you smooth recovery & healing within and without. So much learning in the letting go of busyness!
Thank you Lisa! And letting go has been revelatory. Further to your suggestions on Fb: I am indeed using comfrey and arnica – wonderful herbs.
I empathise. Unfortunately my already limiting chronic illness got worse last year and now I’m mostly housebound and the garden is living its own life (which wouldn’t be a bad thing if it wasn’t for the rampant - no matter how much I cut them down before - brambles, plum tree saplings and an over-indulgence of nettles, sigh). The last few months I have had really dark spells as my life is shrinking further with no improvement. To the point the other week where I thought I need, it is essential, that I hold energy for the things that stop me going there. So I’ve finally started writing again after about a year and I’ve finally started on a textile art project I’ve had in mind since October. I am trying to find ways to do them in little doses and finding my way back into communities that I know will help keep me holding energy for these things. I am reassuring myself that this is not self-indulgence, this is self-preservation.
Ah I'm sorry to hear that, Alison. And I concur - that is ABSOLUTELY self-preservation.
And at least your garden will provide wonderful habitat...
Sending you warm wishes
Lovely poems, and your painting too… (and I’m much enjoying reading Riding the Dragon as we speak!). An enforced and healing break (literally, sometimes…)
can often be no bad thing, even when the timing isn’t quite impeccable… Get well soon!
Ah Mari thank you for such a lovely comment - and delighted you are reading RTD! I might write it a little differently now as I was only in my 30s when it was published, but I still stand behind the content.
And you're right – I can't say I enjoy the immobility and pain per se but I'm learning stuff every day!
Hope you're enjoying this amazing spring.
Oh Roselle… of all the moments in the year to be injured… although is there ever good moment really? The older I become the more deeply I believe these things happen for a reason. I have just had a long and tearful discussion with my husband (because I can’t sleep, and tomorrow I have classes) about slowing down, about listening to our bodies, really listening and acting upon what they are telling us… I too have to slow down, I am suffering both emotionally and physically, my lists are long and simply impossible to fulfill - I know this but it doesn’t stop me and it’s killing me. It’s time to listen… it’s time to write more poetry 💛
I send you peace and healing and stillness… and I will try for the same xx
Deal, Susie. Yes please try for the same – without a physical accident! I have seen from your writings how over-busy you must be; we are similar I think in cramming every moment full. Passion for life, perhaps.
I'm in the habit of listening to my body, reading what it's saying, and then ignoring it! – as I don't know what to change. As a psychotherapist myself, I'd say to a client 'Why are you filling your life so full?' and 'What could you change right now?' As a person, I'd say what a shame I had to choose such a drastic way to slow myself down (not the first time), when I've known for *years* that, no matter how much I love life and love the things I'm engaged in, I absolutely MUST carve out time just for being... Sound familiar? Please do it for yourself before something gives, Susie. Let's stay in touch?
And thank you. xx
Dear Roselle, I read your reply, was immediately called to do something and have only just found time to reply... my apologies but yes, lets... I believe we both desperately need to encourage one another to slow down as often as possible. So far this week it hasn't happened for me, but tomorrow is the last day of term and I have two weeks off, two weeks of rain so my metéo says, which means almost everything on my list will be impossible anyway... it feels like a good time to begin!
I am sending calm hugs to you and the hope that you are healing quickly.. xx
Thank you Susie. Hope you will begin this time out now… X
The enforced time to ‘be’ will bring healing and unknown benefits . Relish what you can…
You're right, Verona, and though I still feel frustrated by my immobility and the awkwardness and complications it brings - and I'm still rubbish on crutches! - I'm beginning to soften into the space. Thank you!
Heal well! There are Marustani cotton umbrellas, quite expensive, on the terrible place beginning with A. I can't find them stocked anywhere else so far.
Thank you Miranda! I'll have a look.
Your poetry is beautiful, as always, and I appreciate your insights into life. I hope your foot heals up quickly and well, and you enjoy your "enforced" rest time.
Dear Laura, thank you for your kindness. X
I can hear you read 2 from River Suite. Enforced rest can be beneficial. 2 years ago I watched Magpies - just a pair- build a nest in the oak at the bottom of our neighbour’s garden. I was a weeny bit more resentful than you but writing flourished. I hope you continue to write wonderful poems. Xx
Marg I just left a reply but can't see it. Hope I didn't leave it on someone else's blog! I said thank you - and believe me I have been VERY resentful! xx